"My Life on a Doorknob" 

The story of a Party Hoops wearer

By Nikki

 

My life on a doorknob...strange title for a story huh...well as you can probably guess it has something to with hoops and it has something to do with me. Have you ever come across one of those people who just can't seem to get things right....well, here is my story and I will try not to bore you too much with it. It all started back in high school days, during the time of raging hormones, when the guys were struggling with their changing voices and the girls were trying to out boob each other. It was a time of recklessness and a time of finding oneself. It is on this journey that I came to know doorknobs. My school was like any other school, it had its clicks of people, those who were popular, those who were not and those who completely defied catergorization, go ahead, have a guess which one I was, well, for those who may be struggling a little with it, I was of course in the last category. I'm not looking for sympathy, it wasn't all that bad, it was after all how I got introduced to parties and how I came to know doorknobs. The first signs of being promoted into a more acceptable category came in the winter of 85, it was footy season and there were parties to be had after every game and as with any of these after match type things there was drinking to be done, actually I think that may well have been a sport all on its own, it seemed to run into a contest each week on who could drink the fastest and share their meal with everyone later, but that's not what I am writing about so we will move on. In order to get to these parties so you could leave totally inebriated required a non drinker who could drive a car, and yes, this is where I came into play. Not a very exciting role I agree but it was to lead onto better things. The first few parties were pretty much non events but I got to know and observe a couple of interesting interactions along the way. As the season progressed the parties became more relaxed as everyone got to know everyone else and some of them even stopped to talk to me. I distinctly remember the particular party that got it all going. It was the third to last game of the season, we had won but it had been a close game and the tension was high, on the final whistle you could charge a car battery with the amount of electricity in the air, the atmosphere was euphoric and this carried over to the aftermath that followed. His name was Peter and he was one of the most popular guys in school, you know, had everything going for him, good looks, good grades, parents filthy rich and on top of all that he was genuinely a really nice guy. Well, it was Peters turn to host the after-match and with his parents being away that weekend it was all systems go, this particular party had been built up all week, and after winning the game there was no better icing on the cake. I picked the girls up around 7.30pm after they had spent hours in front of the mirror, I am not sure what look they were going for but they looked like they had had a fight with the vacuum cleaner and lost, however they thought they looked gorgeous and that's what counts. We arrived in good time and the party by now is thumping, actually judging by the behaviour of a few I suspect that they started straight after the game, Peter came out to greet us and he had just had his haircut, another little quirky thing of mine, I love it when guys have just had their hair cut and their hair just point blank refuses to go in the right direction, its so cute, but there I go again, off topic, I was really going to try hard this time not to do that, but there you go, old habits die hard, anyway....getting back to my story, we take our seats and watch the obligatory match on the tv, oohing and ahhing in all the right places, quietly getting drunker and drunker, well, the girls were, me being the driver had a responsibility to at least stay upright so I sat back with my juice and tried to look cool. Now I don't know where this started or who's idea it was, but a tradition had formed a couple of years back which involved hoops hanging off a doorknob, yes, we have finally got to the point of the story, didn't take all that long did it, you have got this far and I am guessing you are still awake so I might as well carry on...now anytime you came across a doorknob with hoops on it, immediately told you that the person with whom they belonged to was out of action for a while, now I am a curious person by nature and these hoops have always held a fascination for me, so just for a laugh, I would borrow the said hoops and wear them for a while, it was during this time that I came to realize there was more to these things than meets the eye. I would put the hoops on and immediately become someone I did not recognize, with the bedrooms being somewhat occupied I would return to the main room where the pot of intelligence had completely gone and everyone was being a whole lot friendlier to everyone else. Over on the couch there sat Peter, looking as cute as ever, he looked up and it was like something out of a movie, eyes glazing with lust and hair in all directions he throws me the most cutest of smiles, a shiver goes up my spine as I make my way over to him, he is looking very interested in me and seems to be behaving a little differently but then again so am I, I cant explain why but I have this need to prove myself in a way that I have never done before, I snuggle up next to him and whisper something in his ear, he leans forward and does the same, and unfortunately this is where it starts to go wrong, had I not been wearing the hoops, I may have caught what he said, but unfortunately things don't go that smoothly for me, and the only thing I caught was my hoop in his shirt button, in a panic I pulled my head back, only to be halted by his very manly but ever so gentle hand, he slides his hand between my face and the hoop and very carefully releases the hoop from his button, feeling somewhat embarrassed I look into his eyes and am about to thank him when he asks if I am ok, that's the line that will do it for me every time and I am not sure whether it is out of sheer embarrassment or that I am a hopeless romantic but it brings tears to my eyes, this in turn brings out his sensitive side and we go off in private to be alone, as we walk past the door, I very discreetly place the hoops back on their rightful knob, their job for the moment is done. Now I know this is not your normal experience with hoops but as I said earlier, I am not your normal person, I often fit into the if anything can go wrong will go wrong category but I never let it end there, I will always find the positive side to any situation and I believe this is what ties me in with the regular hoop wearers. So for those of you out there who are a little like me, next time you are at a party keep an eye out for the doorknob with hoops, mine are easy to find, they are the ones with the button still attached. The End!

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